Saturday, 18 November 2017

Nigerian Contract Payments

I just received this email.  I can't believe it.  I'm going to be RICH!

CONTRACT PAYMENT BY CASH CALL SYSTEM

I am  Governor Central Bank of Nigeria and my name is I am Mr. Godwin Emefiele,  Mandated me to pay all foreign contractors and victims of scam with genuine claims which your name is here in my office

Sequel to the secret arrangement in regards to the Shipment of your totalcontract sum (US$10.5m), I wish to inform you that all necessary modalities have been automatically concluded and the fund has left C.B.N office through the Diplomatic Courier Services today by Express Cargo Flight to your home country.

Note carefully that the content of the box are your total contract value but the CBN did not disclose the content to the Courier Services, Rather it was registered as Vital "DIPLOMATIC DOCUMENTS" belonging to the CBN client (That’s you).

Furthermore, the box is (1) in number and about 75kg. However, you are advised not to disclose the content of the box to the Courier Services to avoid  Betrayal in any circumstances In the meantime, you are kindly advised to furnish us with your direct telephone/mobile number, your valid I.D/Drivers License and your office/house address or where ever you wish to receive the diplomat to enable him identify you when he arrives to your address with the box For more information, we advise you to contact this office as soon as you receive this mail to enable us fax you the necessary documents which you will need to deposit your funds into your bank account.

Congratulations and remain blessed.

MR GODWIN EMEFIELE,
EXECUTIVE GOVERNOR,
CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA

Saturday, 8 April 2017

Head Screws

About a year ago now I recorded a podcast entitled 'Death Dentist' about my on-going saga dealing with a tooth infection.  This saga continued this week when I got a screw drilled into my Canadian made skull.  The screw lays the foundation for a dental implant to be installed on it in a few months from now when the swelling in my mouth goes down.  

The joys of dentistry are on me (and my wallet) like flies on fresh dung.  Here's hoping the conclusion to this stage of my life is almost over.

Thursday, 9 March 2017

A Quarter for your Thoughts


Quitting time!  Who doesn’t love quitting time?  That magical hour in the day when you get to pack up your things, put on your coat and depart from another day of thousands spent at your place of work.
As I drive away I use that time of the day between my office and home as one to reflect and decompress.  For the most part I’ve become pretty good at not bringing my work home with me but that wasn't always the case.  When I was younger I was guilty of that modern day habit of overthinking work related events, but as I’ve aged I’ve gotten far better at balancing my work and personal life.  With that being said there are still some days when stepping away from it all can be a bit of a challenge.
On my drive home last night I stopped at a red light about a mile away from my final destination.  The intersection has become the second home of a local homeless dude who tries to round up spare change from idling drivers.  Despite his misfortunes in life he always seems to be in a good mood, and when I have some handy I gladly pass some coins his way.  Unfortunately for him yesterday I only had a single quarter when he approached my car.   I handed it to him and in a typical embarrassed Canadian tone I apologized for my lack of generosity.  Despite my cheapness he smiled and responded with “Thanks, it’s better than a kick in the nuts”.  I chuckled as he walked away to the car behind me.
As I drove off I reflected on the words he had just shared with me.  There he was, a man begging for spare change outside on a cold Canadian evening while I drove off in my warm car,  to a warm home where a warm meal awaited.
In the future whenever I leave work I need to remind myself the trivial thing on my mind is indeed far better than getting kicked in the nuts.  The roads of life would be a happier place if we all lived by those words of wisdom.  All bets are off however if I do ever get kicked in the nuts by a co-worker.  The ride home that evening may be worthy of some thought (and plans for revenge).

Friday, 3 March 2017

Elon and I

The fun thing about twitter is the ability to criticize a Billionaire online and have him reply to you personally. 

The non-fun thing about twitter is the long list of that Billionaire's fans letting you know your comment was not appreciated.

You simply can't please everyone.

Monday, 27 February 2017

Winner Winner

In my previous post I wrote about the virtues of seeking out sun to break away from the brutal Canadian winters I fall victim to yearly.  It’s not all doom and gloom up here all winter however.  One of the few redeeming events that takes place in Canada every winter is Tim Horton’s “Roll up the Rim” contest.  Tim Hortons is a coffee chain that saturates the Canadian landscape from coast to coast.  It’s a tradition up here that’s been taking place now for 30 years.  Unfortunately for me this year’s edition of the contest hasn’t been too fruitful to my morale.  It’s been an endless losing streak filled with disappointment whenever the words “Please Try Again” appear upon my rim rollings. 


Funny enough a family get together over the weekend revealed a similar consensus about the contest amongst us.  That being a long line of losses since the event began two weeks ago.  We discussed conspiracy theories about winning coffee cups being front loaded at the beginning of the contest to create a buzz within the caffeine addiction community.  Funny what a constant stream of losing will do to the imagination.

But alas, the conspiracies can come to a rest for today at least.  I’ll let Alex Jones run with those.  This morning after enjoying a hot cup of black coffee I rolled up my rim and I can now finally declare myself a winner.  For a few minutes today this Canadian winter I’m currently living through became tolerable.

There's no guarantee I'll survive the rest of this winter, but for a few hours today the extra caffeine this free coffee will provide me with will definitely help.

 

Sunday, 19 February 2017

The Sea of Disconnect

I'm a proud Canadian who loves the country I come from and call home.  The exception to this rule is during the months of January and February.  To escape this yearly period I'd gladly sacrifice every beaver within a 250 mile radius to never experience another Canadian winter again.  For years I would defend them as short periods of time to embrace the outdoors.  I look back at those days as a dillusional period of my life.  I'm now older and wiser than the frozen idiot I once was.  

In short, Canadian winters suck.

Although some deeply disturbed Canucks enjoy the winter experience, the majority share my hatred of the cold, snow, ice and lack of sun.  These vitamin D deficient and beaten down souls will do anything to get a break from it all.  I include myself with the discontents.  I can't begin to admit how grateful I am for air travel to get me out of this frozen mess on occasion.  

A few years back my wife and I were in desperate need of a winter break when some good friends of ours suggested we join them on a Carribean cruise for a week.  Cruising was never on our radar, it seemed like a vacation option retired people on the verge of death did before kicking off their buckets into the next dimension.  We didn't realize that cruise lines catered to a varied mix of demographics and the one our friends had chosen would also appeal to us.  Being open minded to new experiences we gave it a try and loved it.  Now when time and finances allow we try to head south during the winter and sail the Carribean sea for a week of sunshine and visiting new destinations along the way.  I'll leave the open bar escapades for a blog entry at another time.


Last week was the time for our yearly winter escape. The weather throughout the week was ideal as were the conditions of the sea.  The ship we sailed on this year -- Celebrity Reflection -- felt  practically motionless as it sailed from Miami to Cozumel, the Cayman Islands, Jamaica and Haiti then back to Miami.  We were ridden with guilt as we soaked in the sun and heat knowing our friends and family left behind were struggling through a snowstorm back home in Ottawa.

As we sailed I noticed another benefit that isn't mentioned on any cruise literature or website sales pitch; The very expensive price for internet access while at sea.  I know for some of you that may sound like an absolute nightmare, but I've come to realize it's a bit of a blessing.  At a rate of $23 US a day passing up on modem speed access was a no-brainer for almost everyone on the ship.  The positive outcome of this situation was immeasurable. 

Imagine a ship filled with humans that aren't walking around like bent over zombies locked unto their iPhone and Android screens all day long.  The same observation applied to the dining and buffet areas where friends and families were communicating with each other again using spoken words rather than texts and poop face emojis.  I was beginning to think the cruise ship was an oversized time machine that brought us back 20 years.  Who knew these micro non-connected pockets of the modern world still existed?  

The experience made me reflect on a book I read recently;  Kevin Kelly's "The Inevitable: Understanding the 12 Technological Forces That Will Shape Our Future".  In it Kelly outlines our changing protopian world that is increasing its dependence on networked technologies, some of which exist today while others that will revolutionize our lives in the next thirty years haven't even been thought up yet.  Bluetooth enabled pills for health monitoring, augmented reality contact lenses to enhance what we see and record our every move are a small sampling of the technologies that await us.  We are indeed in for a crazy interconnected technology ride in the years ahead. 

There's an Edwin Land quote I enjoy.   Land was an American scientist and inventor, best known as the co-founder of the Polaroid Corporation.  It goes like this: "I don't mean you're all going to be happy.  You'll be unhappy - but in new, exciting and important ways."   His wise words pretty much sum up where we are today with technology and where we are headed. 

My cruise last week was short lived, but it reminded me of a time when we weren't always interconnected to each other yet survived with relative happiness.  I'm starting to believe our previous existence oblivious to the second by second minutiae of the social media world was in fact positive for our mental well being.  But alas our world now is a massive confluence of interconnections necessary for most of us to work and survive.  

I predict at one point there will be some pushback to the growing speed of change around us.  Technology free retreats will be marketed as utopian paradises not unlike how winter getaways are today.  In the meantime here's hoping the cruise ships of the world continue to overcharge its customers for on board internet access.  The mental technology breaks they unknowingly provide us with may soon be required to maintain our sanity.







Hello Again

A couple of times a year I go through a review of my monthly expenses and like most people I try to cut costs that seem unnecessary.   A few months ago one of those expenses that contributed to the drain of my resources was my blog costs.  It wasn't much to be honest but it was one of the many recurring costs that was bloating my credit card on a monthly basis. I seem to be a collector of recurring costs for some reason and I bet I'm not the only one.  They have become the new in vogue budget killers.  So with that information I asked myself why was I paying for a website I only post to a handful of times a year and cancelled it.

And then a few months later it dawned on me...

Writing can be fun.   Writing can be therapeutic.   Writing can be a creative outlet -- even if it's only for yourself -- to decipher and perhaps better understand thoughts that are bouncing around in your head.   It's a creative mechanism that I enjoy diving into on occasion and today I got the itch.  There was a little problem however.  My tiny misused writing spot in the big online world was gone.   My cheapness slayed it for the credit card swelling dragon it had become.

But wait Glenn... didn't you have a...

I remembered I had a blogspot account somewhere, I tracked it down and decided to give it a try again.  So here it is, my crappy little - now free - website is back online.  If you find yourself bored out of your mind one day and are looking for bad advice and / or long winded misguided points of view this is is the destination for you.

So hello again!   I plan to stick around here for a while or at the very least until this free blog site drives me nuts and I start paying for it again. (That sounded filthy somehow).  Let's see what happens.